I bought a Big Ass Jar of Nutella at the local warehouse store last weekend. It contains 26 ounces of Nutella. Or, should I say, it contained 26 ounces of Nutella. Because now it contains Zero Ounces. Because I shoved it in my face. In four sittings. I’m pretty sure the Big Ass Jar of Nutella is supposed to contain 52 servings. So, either the jar is Sadly Underestimating the amount people will eat when sitting alone in front of a keyboard or I am a Glutton. Or perhaps it’s a bit of both.
Alas, things are supposed to be Balanced around here. That’s what my shingle says, anyway. In a vain attempt to Shove closed the barn door as I watched the back end of the horse capering merrily away, I decided that I should probably try to make a Nutella-Like-Item that would actually be a reasonably healthy choice. If I can learn to just put down the @%#*#$ spoon.
I shared with my friends on my fan page that I was considering a homemade version of Nutella, and one friend was all “Keep it away from me!” I thought I was just being a bad influence, and I promised to take her spoon from her should the need Arise. (Then I’d have Two Spoons)!!! But then she said that she was actually allergic to hazelnuts! This is an allergy I’ve never heard of, and it’s one I Do Not want to get to know. I am a Fan of the Filbert.
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Start with raw cashews.
I told her that I had actually planned to use a couple of different nuts in my Trials, and she allowed as to how cashews are A-OK in her book, so I said, “Hooray!” and wandered off to the Whole Foods to find hazelnuts and cashews. The cashews I found without any difficulty. The hazelnuts, however, were nowhere to be found. I asked a Guy in an apron, and he said that the Bulk Foods Lady was on break but that I should wander back by in about 15 minutes to see what she had to say.
So, I bought a card, and I smelled a bunch of different hand lotions. I prowled the Cheese Paddock where all the lovely cheeses were milling about. I tasted a wee little taste of Some Sort of Cheddar, which was the only sample that was even out when I was there. I also bought some coconut milk, thinking that cashews and coconut get along quite nicely.
And toast them up yourself.
By the time I got back to the bulk foods section, Mel the Bulk Food Lady was back. She broke the news to me that they were, indeed, Completely Out of hazelnuts and that they would have some in the next day. To which I said, “Fine. I was just going to make an Awesome Hazelnut Treat and then write about it on the Hinternets and now I’m going to tell the world that you guys were out of hazelnuts. Fine.” (I said this all smiley so she would know that I wasn’t Overly Miffed. Besides, I had my cashews). And guess what she said?! She said, “My name is Mel!” Ha! So now you guys know that Mel is your girl in the Bulk Foods Department at the Whole Foods in Cary!
Look how smooth and creamy! This is because I started with Hot Nuts.
I conducted Experiment 1 yesterday afternoon. I was Unsure about the results. It was very creamy but a little bit boring. Later, though, Neighbor Chuck came over with eggs, and I made him taste it. He loved it. And then The Beloved came home and I made him taste it. And he loved it, too! So, I’m going to present the Original Version as well as the tweaked version that I made today.
When I tasted V1.0 earlier today, it has set up to a gloriously creamy consistency in the fridge and was very, Very tasty. So, if you do make V1.o, let it hang out in the fridge for a few hours. The flavor will develop nicely. Knowing that, I can’t wait to try V2.0 in a few hours after it has had a chance to sit, because it is Excellent right now.
A couple of things to note:
- Buy your cashews raw and roast them, either in a frying pan w/a tiny bit of coconut oil or just on a pan in the oven, and then process them immediately. You will end up with a much smoother butter than if you process them cold.
- You can absolutely use a neutral vegetable oil and regular old milk to make this, but with all the health benefits of coconut oil and the lovely way that cashews and coconut get along, why would you?
- If you do start with cold or room temperature cashews, start the butter in the processor and then finish it in a high-powered blender, if you have one. You’ll end up with as smooth a texture as if you had started with fresh, hot cashews.
- You can absolutely make this with hazelnuts. I will be, once Mel hooks me up!
Shewtella
Ingredients
Version 1.0
- 1 cup 140g raw cashews
- 1 teaspoon EVCO (extra virgin coconut oil. Take that , Racheal Ray!
- 4 Tablespoons 1/4 cup demerara sugar
- 2 Tablespoons Your Favorite Cocoa Powder (I used Pernigotti)
- 1 Tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon EVCO
- 8 Tablespoons 1/2 cup coconut milk
- ¼ teaspoon fine sea salt
- ¼ teaspoon vanilla extract
Version 2.0
- 1 cup 142 g raw cashews
- 9 Tablespoons generous 1/2 cup sugar in the raw
- 8 Tablespoons 1/2 cup coconut milk
- 2 Tablespoons Your Favorite Cocoa Powder
- 1 Tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon EVCO
- 1 teaspoon espresso powder
- ½ teaspoon vanilla
- gently rounded 1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt
Instructions
For V1.0
- Heat the 1 teaspoon of coconut oil in a heavy skillet.
- Add the cashews and cook, stirring constantly, until golden brown. Remove to the bowl of a food processor.
- Process the nuts until they form a paste.
- Add the rest of the ingredients and process until smooth.
- Taste, and adjust seasonings if necessary.
- Place in a container and refrigerate overnight to let the flavors develop.
For V2.0
- Roast the nuts in the oven at 400F, stirring occasionally, until golden brown. This will take about 10 minutes.
- Remove to the bowl of a food processor and process until the nuts form a paste.
- Add the rest of the ingredients and process until smooth.
- Taste and adjust seasonings, if necessary.
- Place in a container and refrigerate overnight to let the flavors develop
Did You Make Any Changes?
Notes
Feel free to add as much or as little sugar as you like. Add more cocoa powder. Or not quite as much. Zest some orange into it. Make it your own. And then tell me all about it!
And there you have it. Much more guilt-free (less guilt-making?) than Nutella.
Are you a fan of Nutella? Have you made a homemade version? Gonna try this version? Let me know!
Have a lovely day.
Update: Wondering what to make with your shiny new ‘Shewtella? I came up with this awesome torte. Give it a try!
Join in Today!
You did not just dip a salty pretzel in that Shew-tella! Tell me you didn’t. Because now I will have to go and buy some pretzels to finish off the jar of Nutella my daughters left behind. (You know I don’t normally eat sweets. But sweet and salty? I’m in.) Also, my neighborhood store has raw cashews in bulk. Totally trying this!
Um no. I never did. It was a figment of your imagination. You’re welcome. 😉 =)
Jenni, for the coconut milk, do you mean the thick canned stuff,mor the drinkable kind that is more like almond milk? Because this sounds amazing and I am dying to try it.
I use the thick stuff from the can, personally. I guess you could use the other w/o problem; you would probably just need less since it’s thinner. I do hope you enjoy it, Brianne!
That looks so darn good! I’m obssessed with Nutella, but I absolutely adore cashews- probably my favorite nut so I can’t wait to try this!
I was getting in a bad habit of eating Nutella right out of the jar with a spoon, for breakfast nonetheless!
first batch of V1.0 is in the fridge now melding flavors. Can’t wait to have a spoonful in my oatmeal tomorrow morning. The lickin’s from the food processor bowl were delicious!
I used roasted/salted cashews (found them at a local Ocean State Job Lot Store much cheaper than Whole-Foods/Coop) I toasted them just the same since they grind better warm. I cut back on the salt, since the nuts were salted.
Don’t you just love it when someone alters your proven recipe!
I absolutely love it when people put their own spin on “my” recipes–that’s what it’s all about. Bringing some of your own style to a recipe!
You are gonna love it in your oatmeal. Love it!!
Oh this was sooo good! Thanks for sharing with us on Saturday. If I had not met you for the first time that day, I would have asked for the little container to take home with me but I did not want you to think I am some kind of crazy person who snatches the dessert away from people !
High praise! I am so happy that you liked it, but even more–it was so great to meet you!! Hope it happens again, soon! Oh, and I *like* crazy dessert-snatching people. I understand them! lol
My mother-in-law sent some Nutella in a care package that took nearly 2 months to reach us. That’s a whole lotta miles to travel and way too long to wait when I need another jar. Lucky for me, cashews are most plentiful hereabouts. I’m already thinking about what variations of ‘Shew-tella I will make… 8-D
Hey, and you already have milking a coconut down, Tracey!! Do make some; it takes waaaay less time than 1/6 of a year to make! lol
I am totally making this. Many ways. And soon. Like, right after Valentine’s Day when my evil florist boss unchains me from my workbench. XOXO
Do it! I highly recommend it! 🙂
Gimme! A jar! Or make it two! OMG! This is awesome!
Ha! It’s good stuff! And very easy to make. 🙂
lol! It’s good stuff, and very easy to make. Go for it! 🙂
Oh Jenni, you’re HILARIOUS! look how chocolate-y and creamy your Shew-tella looks… great idea to use EVCO 😉 love it!
Thanks, Yuri! I had been dreaming of using EVCO in a Nutella-like thing for a couple of days. It really was a good idea, if I do say so myself! 🙂