Remember a few months ago when horrible tooth extractions had to happen? Well, here we are again, at Part Deux, in which the Oral Surgeon implants dead guy bone both under the sinuses and under the gums to create a Sturdy Anchoring Spot for a titanium post which will eventually have a Fake Tooth built onto it. Sounds like fun, right? No, I didn’t think so either. I was picturing some sort of peeling back of the face in order to shove dead guy bone in, but apparently it’s much less invasive than that, even though it calls for a general anesthetic. And dead guy bone?! Wow. Just….wow.
So, yesterday, I was Madame Chauffeur to my Beloved, and I sat in the waiting room reading Wicked for an hour and a half. The Rules we were given included having him eat cold, soft foods. She even said, and I quote, “ice cream, pudding, Jell-o, etc.” This is the only Good Part of the whole process: the eating of not-so-healthy foods with the doctor’s blessing. Thank you, Dr. Won, for letting us snack on junky food for a few days. Oh, did you catch that “us?” Yeah, well, I didn’t want him to feel Singled Out, so I have embarked on this journey with him because I am Selfless. Other snacks on our personal list include pimento cheese, beloved cracker spread of The South, and hummus. No, The Beloved will not be enjoying the cracker portion of the show, but my Wheat Thins are ready to go.
Pimento Cheese Spread
This is one of those southern treats that can be made a ton of different ways, so don’t stress over it.
- 1 pound sharp cheddar cheese (you can use Velveeta, if you want, but I’m not going to)
- mayonnaise, to taste
- salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
- 1 or 2 small jars pimento (or pimiento)
Other stuff you can put in it, if you want:
- sweet or dill pickle relish
- minced garlic or granulated garlic
- chopped onion or onion powder
- other kinds of cheese–Pepper Jack comes to mind, if you like things a little spicy
- dry mustard
- lemon juice
- other spices–like maybe chili powder could be Fun for a Mexican-style version
You can make this in a food processor or by hand–it all depends on how homogenized you want your final mixture to be.
If making by hand, grate the cheese and mix together with other ingredients. to taste. Stop when you like it.
To make in a food processor, pulse to desired smoothness, but add the pimentos last so they don’t get too blended up. It’s fun to see some red flecks in the Final Product.
Look! Here’s me making some live:
What to do with this stuff:
- spread on bread for a quickie sammich
- spread on hamburgers or hotdogs
- eat with crackers
- use as veggie dip with carrots, celery, etc.
Dear US readers, I hope you have a Fantastic Fourth. Dear International Readers, I hope you have a fantastic weekend. And to everyone, make some pimento cheese, it’ll make you feel good!
And The Beloved’s new name? Sir Costsalot. A Very Lot.