You've got questions; I've got answers. Maybe not the answers you're looking for, but answers, nonetheless.
I think I’ll make this a monthly feature–telling you guys about the search terms that people have used to find me. And why bother doing this? Well, for one, some of the searches make me laugh. Aside from getting my own Chuckles On, though, I also figure that folks using those terms didn’t always find exactly what they were looking for. So, I’ll address some of the terms as if folks asked questions. Allow me the Liberty to “phrase in the form of a question.” Maybe you’ll learn something that you didn’t know. Maybe you’ll giggle a little. And maybe the Searchers out there will be able to find out the answers to their questions.
Is there an easy homemade whipped cream substitute that doesn’t contain cream? Lots of folks ask this, or variations of this–you’d be surprised. A while ago, I told you about sweetened, whipped tofu. Here’s a recipe that attempts a stab at Cool Whip consistency. Shudder. But, if that’s your thing, at least this stuff doesn’t contain HFCS and hydrogenated oils. It’s not non-dairy, because it contains powdered milk. And it’s not vegetarian, because it contains gelatin. But, here it is:
- 1 tsp plain gelatin
- 1/4 cup cold milk
- 3/4 cup cold water
- pinch of salt
- 1 cup dry milk powder
- sugar, to taste
- lemon juice, to taste
Sprinkle gelatin over the milk, stir, and let sit until you’ve got a solid block of milk. Melt over low-ish heat and then cool.
All your ingredients should be ice cold, except the gelatin mixture, which should be cool. Whip water, gelatin milk, milk powder and pinch of salt to soft peaks. Add sugar, a bit at a time, until you like the sweetness. Continue beating, and add the lemon juice, to taste.
Can I whip sour cream? Not by itself–there’s not enough fat in it for that. You can, however, whip cream to medium peaks and then whip in sour cream–up to a 1:1 ratio cream to sour cream.
How can I make my pie crust sides shrink? Wellll, okay. Knead your pie dough. Knead it hard. Make sure it has plenty of water in it. Then, stretch it to fit into your pan. If you follow these directions, you will not only have shrunken sides, you’ll have a cracker in the bottom of your pan. Congratulations.*
Do you have any ideas for good pastry-themed tattoos? I’ve always thought that a jaunty chef’s hat/whisk combo on ones’ left shoulder is fetching. You might also consider the rolling pin tramp stamp on the small of your back. For you guys out there, “I bleed lemon curd,” might be a good, macho slogan to have tattooed around your neck. How about one of those upper arm chain deals made of little bars of chocolate? Or cinnamon rolls? You might also consider the initials JT. Not because you’re Bringing Sexy Back, but because you’re a fan of Jacques Torres.
Why can’t pregnant women whip cream? I have no idea. Maybe it’s your new, lower center of gravity. Try standing on a chair. You’re welcome.
Is it better to bake puff pastry in a convection or conventional oven? Excellent question. Not to take anything away from the pregnant woman, you understand. At any rate, if you’re baking small-ish puff pastry shapes, such as for vol au vents, you’re going to want to go with the conventional oven. If you have a convection oven, turn off the fan. Why? The air whipping around inside the oven can blow your delicate layers about like leaves in a hurricane, and you’ll end up with puff pastry Slinkies. It has happened to me. While impressive looking, they are difficult to Fill with Yumminess, so I don’t recommend it. If you’re baking larger sheets of puff, you should be fine using a convection oven. Generally speaking, bake at a slightly lower temperature in convection than in a conventional oven.
Is it okay for a pastry chef not to be able to draw? Please read this.
Does melted butter get hard again? This is really a great question. I guess the pregnant lady is going to get a complex. Sorry, pregnant lady. Anyway, butter is basically an emulsion of fat and water with some milk solids and maybe some salt. When butter melts, the emulsion breaks, the water either evaporates (if it’s at a high enough temperature) and the solids sink. When re-refrigerated, the fat hardens up, but the solids don’t re-incorporate, and the water is still gone. At this point, if you remelt this butter and pour off the fat, you’ll have clarified butter, or ghee.
One time, I had to make a chocolate stout cake for Saturday lunch service. We had run out of butter the day before (oops!) and more wasn’t coming in until about 11am. Sigh. I ended up using clarified butter. It worked, but the cake was extremely tender–to the point of breaking in a couple of places. The flavor was great, but the absence of the milk solids threw off the balance, so the cake ended up having too much fat. I thought there wasn’t any such thing as Too Much Fat, but I was Wrong. Moral of the story: use previously melted butter in cooking, not baking.
Can you make simple syrup without cooking it? Although I’ve not done this, the answer is yes. What you can do is add the sugar, a little at a time, to the water. Then, shake-shake-shake the container–or stir-stir-stir–until the sugar has dissolved. Then, add a little more sugar, and repeat the process. Making simple syrup this way takes a bit longer, but what you’ll end up with is a sugar solution that is c0mpletely comprised of sucrose and water. When you boil sugar and water, the sugar starts breaking down somewhat, and you end up with a sucrose/glucose/fructose/water solution.
Simple syrup made the non-heated way will be somewhat thicker than a heated simple syrup. I’m not sure that there is any perceptible difference in flavor, but if you try The Long Version, let me know.
*In which the Author is Being Facetious. Please Do Not follow those directions. Thank you.
