Weddings are wonderful, joyous occasions, and most brides plan and plan until their eyes bleed–choosing just the perfect venue, the Most Fabulous flowers, the Awesomest first dance song, and of course, the Best-Ever-In-The-Universe-Makes-Her-Feel-Like-A-Princess dress. Oh, and the cake. There must be cake. Duh.
But, despite all the planning, the histrionics (have you seen Bridezillas?!), the money and the Pomp and Circumstance, weddings are fleeting. The wedding is just the capital letter at the start of the long novel of your marriage. Sure, it’s an important letter–it might even be an Illuminated Letter like in special bibles and stuff, but it’s still just a signifier. A signifier that, from here on out, life is different. Better. That it’s about ours instead of mine. About us instead of me. About let me see if we can make its instead of I’ll be theres.
Weddings are mostly about the bride. The marriage is about your journey together. And, if your journey thus far is any indication, what a journey you will have.
For my gift to you, Dear Nelly, I share with you what our dear friend Jennifer, our officiant at our wedding, quoted to us. Not what she said at our public ceremony, but at the private, legal one in which we stood together in a circle of hydrangea blossoms outside an old antebellum bed and breakfast in Union, South Carolina. May they be a blessing to you both.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup, but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together,
For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.–Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
These words have served us, and continue to serve us, well.
And now, about that cake…
- 8 oz butter, at cool room temperature
- 3 oz coconut oil, solid but not brittle
- 18 oz sugar
- 1 slightly rounded teaspoon fine sea salt
- 1 teaspoon vanilla
- 5 eggs, beaten
- 13 oz cake flour
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 7 oz ripe banana
- 3 oz coconut cream (the cream on top of coconut milk)
- 1 cup Nutella
- 1 tablespoon coconut oil
- Please use The Creaming Method to put this cake together:
- Preheat the oven to 350F. Set your oven rack one below the middle position.
- Spray a Bundt-type pan with pan spray and then flour it well. Knock out the excess flour.
- Whisk together the flour and baking powder. Set aside.
- Blend the banana and coconut cream until pureed. Set aside.
- Cream butter, coconut oil, sugar, salt and vanilla together very well until light and fluffy (well spatulated).
- Drizzle in the egg, a bit at a time over about 3-4 minutes. Scrape bowl as necessary.
- Alternate adding the flour mixture and the banana mixture on low speed, mixing just until barely combined after each addition. Scrape bowl as necessary.
- Pour/scrape the batter into the prepared pan. Bake until done. In my oven, this takes 1 hour and 5 minutes.
- Let cool for 20 minutes, then turn the cake out. Put it back in the pan and wrap the whole cake so it can cool either in the freezer or the refrigerator. This step minimizes moisture loss through evaporation.
- Once cool, drizzle glaze over the cake.
- In a double boiler (or in the microwave), heat the Nutella and coconut oil together until of drizzling consistency.

So, that is my shower gift to you, Nelly. I wish you all the happiness in the world, a lovely wedding, a strong and vibrant marriage, and cake. Lots of cake.
This post is part of a Blog Hop Bridal Shower for the fabulous and talented Nelly from Cooking with Books. Please check out all the other links to wonderful wedding wisdom and wishes and tons of sweet recipes below. Huge thanks to Sanjeeta of Lite Bite for setting up the whole shebang, to Heather from Farmgirl Gourmet for the Spot-On logo, to Junia from Mis Pensamientos for setting up a crazy spreadsheet for the event and to sweet Elizabeth for these heartfelt words:
“And …I said YESSSSS!”
It happened one November midnight, in Twitterverse, we saw this tweet from our dear Nelly @nella22. Without missing a beat, we all knew Nelly had “said YES” to her beloved “M”,as she sweetly calls Brian Murray, her fiancé.
So here we are, Nelly dear, your friends in the food world, wishing you and Brian all the best. And with our wishes, a simple recipe with an easy formula for a life of bliss, rich with EVERYTHING in it!
BLOGGERS RECIPE FOR NELLY ‘S WEDDED BLISS
Mix together: A lot of Love, Patience, Perseverance, Respect, Courage, Strength, Trust, Kindness, Honesty, Compromise & Great Sex.
Stir in : Equal Parts of Love, Support, Faith, Fidelity, Hope, Validation, Friendship, Forgiveness, Communication.
Cook over slow simmer for the rest of your life. Dot daily with a Sense of Humor.
Leave out the nagging, sarcasm, skepticism, doubts and stubbornness.
Serving Suggestions: Best prepared daily. Serve with flourish because Married Life is a FEAST. Live it with flavor, spice it with unconditional love, enjoy its richness.
Recipe Notes: Some ingredients won’t always be fresh or available. Or the heat may flare up and the anger spills over. Simmer down and douse the flames with all the LOVE you can throw in.
Enjoy the feast of marriage, love and life! –@Mango_Queen




















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