I Want To Be Your GoDaddy. Not In A Weird Way.

I like to think that my website looks Pretty Keen.  But I have no idea how it got that way.  It’s keen because Linda made it keen.  And for the longest time, I was afraid of going to WordPress.org from my cozy little home at WordPress.com.  It was like WordPress.Org was always said Sotto Voce, or with some kind of Mysterious Music playing behind it.  I’d hear Scary Things like Customization through CSS, hosting and something sinister called Codex.  I think I might need to light the Bat Signal if the Codex tries to muscle into Metropolis.

I’m not gonna lie–I was skeered.  But finally, after 2 years and 300 posts over at PMAT at WordPress.com, I thought it was High Time that I moved up to the Big(ger) Leagues.  It would give me more control over what I could do with the blog, and I would have much more control over the whole look, as well.  So, I made some tea, put on some Soothing Music, and started to read all about WordPress.Org.  Still Scary.  Alas.  So, I did what I often do when I am Fearful of the Unknown.  I called the helpers at GoDaddy.com.

If you guys don’t know anything about GoDaddy except Danica Patrick, let me just tell you that these folks are Very Helpful and Very, Very Kind to Skeered People.

First, I spoke with James who held my hand while we installed the (sotto voce, please) WordPress.Org Software on the server.  Then, he walked me through setting up my account and Everything.  I was skittish and querulous on occasion.  Because I Lash Out when Afraid.  But James was like The Horse Whisperer, speaking calmly and soothingly while metaphorically feeding me an apple and stroking my nose.

I told James that he was The Best.  Then, I expanded that to include all the GoDaddy Helping People.  Every time I have ever called for support, both technical and emotional, they have been kind and knowledgeable and not Once did any of them ever make me feel stupid.  And James told me that that is what sets GoDaddy apart from the rest–that they understand that they wouldn’t have a business without customers and that all of them had been Afraid Of The Unknown at one time and that it was Incredibly Mean to make others feel stupid.  I welled up a little, because I really don’t like to ask for help, because it makes me feel Inadequate.  And then, he made it completely Okay that I was Inadequate.  Thank you, James.

A couple of weeks later, I called my GoDaddy for a bit more help.  I shan’t bore you with the details, but I will say that I spoke with Ryan who was every bit as helpful as James.  I asked him if he knew James, and he said no and that they worked at different call centers.  Apparently, there are many GoDaddy Pods of Helping People scattered throughout the countryside.  I bet that they are sunny, happy places where the Helping People get to skateboard in the halls and hang mirror balls in their cubes and play Faceball.  I like to think so, anyway.

I want my site and blog to be the GoDaddy Helpers of the Food World.  I’m not into food snobbery.  I don’t believe in Secret Recipes.  Pretentious people make my teeth hurt, and Meanies who look down on folks who don’t know what foie gras is or haven’t eaten at Le Bernardin or who sometimes console themselves with a Cheez Doodle or two?  Well, they just need to be smacked.

If you don’t know how to make pie crust, I promise to help and not Snicker at you behind your back.  If you want to understand garnishing in the Escoffier-an sense, I can help you with that.  If you’re just getting up the courage to make puff pastry or bake bread or Whatever, I will share with you all that I can to make life easier and less stressful when learning a New Thing.  I will speak calmly and soothingly.  I will feed you an apple, and I will help you overcome your fears.  I will even stroke your nose.  But only if you don’t think that’s weird. Promise.